Happy New Year!

Last Friday I turned 25. It felt so good to spend the entire weekend with some of the most important people in my life. We spent the day dreaming and loving on our two blessings and thanking God for every good and precious thing in our lives- it all comes from Him.

Saturday I woke up and could not shake the thought "Happy New Year!". You know when something gets in your brain and you just can't shake it? Well this is my year. 25. This is the PEAK of my 20s. I have cried and begged The Lord for things to change for so long- for my family financially, for my health, my friendships, my productivity.

For things to change I have to change.

I can't keep doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. It's sheer insanity, as the cliche goes.

There are 3 areas in my life that really REALLY need some work. I mean lots of work- almost to the point where I don't know where to begin.

1. Spiritual -
praying constantly, praying with kids during day not just bedtime- talking about God more
Journaling with God
Consistently attending mass, becoming an active community member of our church
Praying with husband every chance I get

2. Health -
Consistently choosing whole foods, cutting out dairy & grains, grass fed meat when we can afford it
Cooking and preparing snacks instead of eating out
Working out (once my OB clears me!) - running c25k, Advocare CU24, and lifting in garage

3. Family -
Budgeting (and following it!) and furthering our business for financial growth
Date nights for our marriage and emotional well being ;]
Pressing through with breastfeeding Noah and persevering!

Lord, you sent your only son to lay down his life so that I could have freedom. But I find myself in bondage- to food, debt, and laziness. Lord, release me from these. Take me to the place I need to go to further Your kingdom. Show me what needs to be cut from my life so I can move forward. I am thankful for the blessings you have bestowed upon me these last 25 years and I am readying my heart to receive what you have for me.

Today I Made the Bed.

Today I made the bed. This may seem like a small feat to many. Actually, it's quite embarrassing. Ever since I was a kid, I've struggled to care about my mess. Which led me to struggle with caring about myself. Deep down somewhere in my past, I stopped caring about what I looked like, and what and who I surrounded myself with.

Somehow this led to a gigantic weight gain over the last 8-10 years. I just stopped caring about myself.

I can't exactly pinpoint why. I have a loving, handsome, champion of a husband. And two sons. B is 14 months and N is 2 weeks old. I care for them. I was (and still am) careful to breastfeed both, even though its been a struggle for me in both cases. I feed my husband and toddler hearty and healthy meals. I snuggle and play and dream with my sons & my man. I take them to the doctor when they're sick, pray over them daily and take them to church (I could do it more), and worry about their safety and their futures (which I could do less of).

But somewhere there was a disconnect about caring for myself. And our home.

Last night I prayed for the strength to change. And today I got up, and made the bed.

This is my journey, chasing my dreams of losing 100 pounds and becoming more.